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It’s not fair… reflecting on family and ministry

November 30, 2014

DSC_0282I don’t know who announced it first, maybe it was our daughter who decided that life wasn’t fair when we told her she could not eat chocolate before breakfast, but whoever started the new phrase, Jake has suddenly latched onto this concept that life really is not fair especially when he can’t climb, cut with knives, eat dessert before dinner and re-braid the dolls hair.
With two birthdays just past and Christmas approaching we (or maybe I), try to think thoughtfully over gifts.  What do they really need, and what would be manageable with budget and size of house (seriously, there is no room for a train table so I just have to keep tripping over Thomas and Rosie the Special).  DSC_0343So many items seem desirable and of course EVERYONE in school has a DS, I-PaDSC_0266ds and all things involving plugs.  Noted, they are not asking for them, just sharing the almost truths.

I have felt ridiculously stressed about gifts, trying to make the right choices.  Stupid.  I know.

I also easily fall into discontentment, want and “not fair”.  After finding 15 year old journals in my parents’ attic, I realised this is an on-going problem!  Happiness is short lived.

However, as I say to the kids, “I know it’s seems unjust to you, I get that”, I’ve also come to an okay place that it is okay to want and like and need.  It’s okay to be occasionally extravagant.  What I’m really wrestling with and trying to teach the girls is that deep down, we all want something more lasting and more joy filled.

I am that woman wanting streams of living water to flow.  I am that mum who longs to bring squeals of delight and deep gratitude together.  I am that person wanting more steadiness and unwavering faith in those “for goodness sake” moments.

Many years ago a piece of paper with the following question was slipped to me: “within the painful circumstances you am facing, how can you still know joy in God’s presence?”  I’ve mulled this over many times and shared it with many people.  This question has sometimes, not always, led me to true joy that has sustained me in a time of confusion or hurt.

Many people in our church and community are experiencing much hurt from anger, cruel words, and strife from various sources.  Some clients coming for counselling see a blank page of misery and despair.  There is certainly nothing joy-filled in their circumstances.  The picture I hold is beauty and possibility.  I don’t push it straight away, in many cases it is very hard work and years of a journey together, but as their counsellor and as the church, surely we should try to be known by our hope, love and even joy in impossible circumstances.  What that looks like is valuing who they are and where  they have come from.


The love of God means giving something beyond the Christmas platitudes.  It may mean saying, “I will walk with you in your hurt and pain.”  I will walk with you and together we can find more joy in the story around us.  In the miserableness can glimpses of beauty be found?

In the demands of trying to be everything for everybody and getting Christmas right, can we just be still and content? I’m going to try, because I do know One who offers so much more (and we kind of have a difficult relationship).

I do believe there is a lasting joy in Christ that makes sense even when life seems so darn unfair and these are the words He draws me with –  “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” (John 7:37-38)


3 Comments leave one →
  1. Candie Whitney permalink
    December 1, 2014 5:33 am

    Wise words, Alison. Thanks for sharing

  2. Mary Maloney permalink
    December 2, 2014 10:25 am

    Yes, wonderful pictures and wonderful words of encouragement. Thoughts and Prayers are with you all. Hang in and hang on to God. L&Ps, Mary maloney USA

  3. ljwadsworth permalink
    December 2, 2014 4:51 pm

    To Britt, Alison and family: My name is Judy Wadsworth and I am a member of Grove UMC in West Chester, PA. I know that our church does provide some financial assistance to your mission work but does not seem to have a strong relationship beyond that. We would like to change that in 2015. Perhaps we could start by dialoging about your work and then get deeper into your mission and its work. For now, let me introduce myself by telling you that my son-in-law are engaged in work with the Mukti mission in India. I have made the trip to visit them once and am amazed at the commitment required to serve Jesus in this way. I hope to make each member of Grove aware of your work and your needs during this coming year. For now, God Bless!

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