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Finding Our Place

May 5, 2015

Finding our place…

ellie and hopeSnapping some pictures of our new Puppy Hope this week, opened up the thought off change and growth. Hope is an incredible puppy who has rapidly growing in the 4 weeks since we collected her (is this a sign off bigger things to come?), but also in the picture I captured was Ellie. Her love for animals has never waived and her dedication to Hope is lovely to watch. It is difficulty for her to be ‘firm’ with Hope – especially in those nippy biting moments – ouch!

One big change for Ellie this week was coping with her best friend moving schools, having to seat beside the more rowdy boys in class and realising that getting her own room is still on hold! Simple things through the eyes off an adult, but not so much when you are 10 years old.

Another place and another change is in-that packing boxes have arrived at our house. Some of you may know that we are moving house in a few weeks. Britt’s role is changing and so we are moving (we will share more about his journey in an upcoming post). We have loved living in this peaceful home for the past 4 years. It has become our retreat after long days working in the dysfunctional and hectic world off the Mission and it was where we brought home our last baby.  I will be sad to leave the spacious kitchen and hidden garden. The bright light invited me to cook more interesting menus (!). Our new place is not very far away so thankfully the girls can stay at school. This will be the last school year for Ellie before she moves into the high school system. Children in the UK seat a transfer exam in November to determine their ability and next school to attend. It is a long, hard examination process and seems way too intense for 10 years olds to cope with. I hate it, and I hate to see their little faces crumpled when they perceive failure on practice papers. But there is always Hope….

emily and jake readingAs I toured around the house my camera caught one of those special can’t believe your eyes moment when Emily was teaching Jake to read! They have a budding and wonderful relationship that can move from hugs and kisses too squeals of, “Emily took this away from me…”, “Jake stop pulling my hair…”, “your not allowed to make my bed into a boat…”

Emily loves loves to teach. If it is not Jake then it is Hope and sometimes me. I couldn’t imagine her not in our family. Emily turns 8 in June and is eager to plan her party. She is restricted not to speak or make lists for food preparations until 4 weeks before. She is quite a cook….

britt readingAnd then of course there is Britt. Safe in his quiet world (which never seems to happen for him), tucked with a book. The new house will give him a box room to study. This makes my heart glad and will be the first space I will yield my decorating skills on. He has felt a dryness in study over the past few months, missing moments to reflect and vision God’s ways.  I admire and love his faithfulness to God’s call and the hard work he has poured into people and the mission and us.

Over Easter I was able to find a quiet place to think about the woman who went to the tomb and couldn’t find Jesus:

“Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” (John 20:13)

I just love that. Finding the Lord. Searching for Him and realising that He is right there. The Lord is right beside us. Walking our path and tenderly lifting us up and filling us with His love.

We often cannot find Him in the noise, mess or plans we have made. It is often difficult for me to calm my heart and listen and be still (I know you can identify). Apart from the quiet rocking chair in our room, one of the most powerful places for me to listen is during counselling sessions. It is such a challenging task to block out noise and really hear what is being said. I love listening for the under tones, the “not saids”. I love listening for tears not yet poured. I love knowing that God opens up the darkness and shows glimpses off the past and uses me in that journey.

In listening you also have to make right judgments. Is this person ready for a new direction, to take ownership? Can they tolerate and cope if they go to that place off pain? In areas of sexual trauma I take my shoes off because this is sacred and vulnerable and very painful. Patrick (not real name) told me recently that in his dreams/nightmares they see a green curtain (not real colour). They are not ready to see behind it and don’t want too. They are strong and confident in what God has done so far, and he is very thankful for the such a beautiful work in his life. He is not that fearful child anymore. What my client knows is enough for her at this stage. I love that ownership and personal responsibility because it is healing in itself.

What I love even more is that God is right there and it is He who is leading the sessions and taking my feeble (I am serious) feeble abilities and allows the person to breathe and be still and feel cared for and satisfied. The curtain can be revealed, or not. It all depends on what the person needs to help them heal. In the searching they go through grief and anger and hatred, and for some, a new excepting, a new kind of peace. They have found their place.

If you would like to read further on this issue then some of these resources may be helpful:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wounded-Heart-Victims-Childhood-Sexual-ebook/dp/B00IDHWRZ8/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1429431601&sr=1-1&keywords=dan+allender
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Boundaries-When-Say-Yes-How-ebook/dp/B000FC2K9W/ref=pd_sim_b_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=1RPMB6DDHXV7P45B2S56

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Barbara Drew permalink
    May 5, 2015 11:37 am

    Cannot believe the children are so grown. Time has flown since you left us at First Methodist but I know God is using you both to help the world be a better place. Barbara Drew

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